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Archive for March, 2011

Buahaha. Fucking amazing.

Prescribed Ettiquettes and Attitudes for TGME (The Greatest Match Ever) # 1: Please don't make tiresome bullshit political analogies. Lazy bloggers, opportunistic Aman Ki Asha-ists and op-ed writers, we are looking at you. It takes the gloss away from this mighty cricket match. #2: This match will NOT defeat terrorism, nor it will root out any extremists on either side of the border. Also, keep away any lunatic thoughts of intelligence agencies cashing on it as a strategic asset. #3: This match is not about peace or … Read More

via Clear Cricket

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Dear Mr President.

I realize you’re quite busy. You have a country to run. I wouldnt even have an inkling of what that is like. I have had a short stint with ‘managment’, I imagine running a country is quite like that. Reports on excel, and replying to emails, calling meeting, conference calls and memo’s around the office. Is it?

Not quite? I’d imagine not. Ofcourse you dont send out memo’s or emails. Why would you, you are the President of the country. People probably flock around your ostancious office, pleading their woes. You dont call conference calls, our national airline is your chartered airline.  You fly it and bend it to your will. The entire country is your ‘backyard’ as they would say. Untill the next election.

Now Mr President, I dont mean to digress or insult. Merely humor you. You see, there’s humor even in the darkest of situations. If all else is lost, one must retain the capacity to laugh at oneself.

I am not sure if you are aware Mr President, but I have been your neighbour for almost 2 years now. 2 years is a stretch, but it serves to get the point across; I am not the casual observer. But your friendly neighbour. Yes Mr Predisent, you’re quite right, I live in that building across the road from your personal residence in Karachi. Aptly name after your son from your late wife, Bilawal House. I meant to ask Mr President, is that it’s actual name or something the local’s named it in affection for your late wife and her son from Oxford. Yes, quite the ‘idol’ worshippers we are Mr President.  Even though the Prophet himself smashed the Idols within the city of Makkah, we have replaced the clay idols with flesh gods. The irony is not lost on me Mr President, I am quite sure you appreciate it more then I could.

Now Mr President, having been your neighbour for 2 years, since you won the election, riding the wave of sympathy over your wives death, not only have huge billboards erected with your late wife’s pictures pasted on it, but the cities security being your own personal body gaurds and watch dogs shut off an entire section of the road for your security and well being. Now Mr President, I’d imagine shutting down half of a two lane road was quite enough to distress the common citizen. All in the name of security ofcourse, and the fact that you can do anything you wish, you proceeded to shut off the whole lane . Now Mr President I have to point out, that is quite rude, what would your neighbours say?

Mr President, are you fimiliar with the Gaza wall? Yes the one made by the Zionist Empire around Gaza to keep away those insects from their land. To my distress Mr President, I saw a Ghaza wall being errected along the road across your house. Yes Mr Preisdent, a 20 foot high conrete wall. Now Mr Predisent, who are the Zionists and who are the Insects in this case? Mr President, your people, ‘Love’ you. They loved your wife more, which is why you came to power nonetheless, they love you. Mr Predisent, I assure you, closing down an entire lane was quite the display of your power over the people, that you didnt need to build a concrete wall along the lane that still remained open to make your point. Not to mentioned the ‘Elite Police Force’ posted along the road itself, and the barriers.

I understand Mr President, that to make a point, one must supress the people of this wretched nation, but surely this is not the Middle East?

Mr President, I assure you, I mean well. I am just a humble neighbour, who wanted to bring this to your attention. You ofcourse have a country to run, and cant be bothered with minsulces details. That is why I brought it upon myself to bring this to your attention.

Sincerly Yours,

Kamil Rextin

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truth about shahtoosh shawls, a birthday letter, and a request..

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